🗣️ Pub-apocalypse

 THE CULTURE CODE

🍺 Pub-apocalypse

Britain is losing one pub a day.

My dad ran one. A big Victorian place (top floor was definitely haunted — my dogs would NOT go up there.)
For me as a spotty teen? Heaven: Coke on tap, free crisps, and all the second-hand smoke a 15-year-old could inhale. 😵 (Probably explains the spots).

University = pub crawls.
First job = “quick drink after work” (translation: five hours…)
The pub was our ‘third space’, that spot between work and home where you made friends for life. Your ‘local’.

We have izakayas in Japan, but they are more dining spots. You never see an old man alone with a pint and a newspaper at 10am (also fewer stabbings).

Tokyo izakaya — £2 a drink (¥400)
London pub — £8 for a pint. Eight. Pounds! (¥1600)
No wonder people fight if you spill it.

And it’s not just Britain. Across Europe and America, boozers and watering holes are shutting in record numbers. The “local” is becoming… local history.

Why pubs are croaking

• COVID (one lockdown too many, debt hangover)

• Supermarkets deliver booze half price — straight to your sofa

• Gen Z drinks less (their “local” is Discord)

• Rising costs + low-spending drinkers (killer combo)

• Smoking ban killed the atmosphere. (Cleaner air, deader pubs.)

But Brits' pub loyalty runs deep.
Floods? Just drink waist-deep.
Terrorist attack? Keep that pint.

But at £8? Yeah, I’d hold on to it too.

DECODE THIS

🤔 Pub Quiz

There are 46,000 pubs in the UK. For every Red Lion or Rose & Crown, there are names that make you wonder what was in the landlord’s pint.

Which of these is NOT a UK pub?

1. The Honest Politician

2. The Bucket of Blood

3. The Goat & Tricycle

4. The Spotted Dick

5. The One-Eyed Dog

Answer at the end 👇

WORD WISE

🥃 Words on the Rocks

The British Empire didn’t just conquer lands — it collected drinking slang. Here are some of the more common ways to say “alcohol” (which is too difficult after drinking it).

• booze — From Dutch búsen (“drink excessively”). Dutch sailors brought it over in the 1300s.

  👉 “Let’s grab some booze on the way home.”

• grog — Admiral Vernon watered down sailors’ rum (1740s). He wore a grogram (silk & wool) cloak → “Old Grog.” The nickname stuck, the rum didn’t.

  👉 “Pass the grog, sailor.”

• hooch — From the Hoochinoo tribe in Alaska, famous for rocket-fuel liquor. Spread in the US Gold Rush (1890s)

  👉 “That’s some strong hooch.”

• tipple — From “tippler” (tavern keeper, 1500s), itself from Norwegian tipla (“drink slowly”). Brits do the opposite…

  👉 “What’s your tipple of choice?”

💡 PRO TIP: Use these words to sound worldly at the pub (assuming it's still open).

💬 FOLLOW UP: “What’s the weirdest slang for alcohol you’ve heard?”

⛔️ DON’T SAY: “I'll have some alcoholic beverage, please” (you'll sound like a robot or a Mormon).

FAMOUS WORDS

“I drink to make other people more interesting”
(Ernest Hemingway, American writer, 1889-1961)

🎬 Can you name the film?

🥶 Criminal caper with Cockney-rhyming slang.

⬇️ Answer at the end of this issue

 NEWS YOU CAN USE

🤖 GPT-ification (of Us)

For many these days, ‘third space’ means online. Our new drinking buddies? AI bots. And they’re changing the way we talk (for the worse).

Researchers call it the “seep-in effect” (a.k.a. GPT-ification): AI words sliding into human chat. Words like “delve” and “meticulous” have exploded in English since ChatGPT's launch (especially in academic papers…mmm).

Other AI favourites infiltrating our vocabulary: “intricate”, “underscore”, “realm”, “furthermore”, and “tapestry”.

Language is organic, always evolving. Even Open AI’s Sam Altman admits “LLM Speak” is real — the world slowly adopting AI’s bland-but-buzzy vocabulary.

So, where does this lead?

Humans sound increasingly robotic while trying to appear more intelligent. Ah, the irony. We created AI to mimic us, and now we're mimicking it back.

Soon we’ll all be talking like LinkedIn having a stroke.

💡 PRO TIP: Using AI? Tell it directly not to use these words (although it might ignore you).

💬 FOLLOW UP: “What’s the most overused buzzword you hear right now?” (“synergy” still a winner?)

⛔️ DON'T SAY: “I'll delve into this meticulous, intricate tapestry to underscore the robust insights from this realm.” (People will think you’re a robot spy).

TALK TOOLBOX

If bots are busy teaching us bad habits, here’s your refresher on the oldest human skill of all — asking better questions (without sounding like an interrogation app).

BECAUSE THE ROBOTS ARE COMING

Meet Moonwalkers — $1,000 “robotic” roller skates for people too lazy to walk. Tiny motors on your shoes = “breakthrough robotics”. 🙄

Peak Silicon Valley: reinventing walking, but worse… and 500x more expensive than shoes (which you still have to wear).

💬 FOLLOW UP: What's the silliest 'smart' gadget you've seen? (Bonus points if it costs more than your car payments).

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BITS ‘N BOBS

• 🎨 Banksy’s back: New street art causes stir in London. (Art, or graffiti with better PR?)

• ⚔️ Vader’s fortune: Darth Vader’s original lightsaber sells for $3.7M. (Imagine explaining that to your accountant: “Yes, but it cuts through anything.”)

• 🇺🇸 Tourism trouble — US loses $30B as tourists stay away (Trumpland is much scarier than Disneyland)

ANSWERS

Pub Quiz: 
Answer: The Spotted Dick. It’s real, but only in Toronto — named after the British dessert. (Try ordering that with a straight face.)

Film:
🎬 Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels (1998)
Four London lads lose big in a rigged poker game and have a week to find £500,000. Crime, chaos and cockney-rhyming slang.

🍿 Cultural Impact

• Put the director, Guy Ritchie, on the map (and a ring on Madonna’s finger).

• Made a star of Jason Statham

• Launched British crime comedy as a genre

💬 FOLLOW-UP: What's your favourite British crime film?

LAST WEEK

🗳 POLL: XiPuMo — Scary Squad or Shaky Squad?

What do you think this bromance means for U.S. global power?

A) 😱 Big threat — the West should worry (34%)
B) 🤷‍♂️ Some threat — but cracks will show (44%)
C) 😴 No threat — awkward alliance at best (22%)

💬 Your Two Cents

A.C: Axis of Curried Potato Dumplings! Vodka Curry & Dim Sum Alliance. Who cares? Another five-minute wonder in the grand scheme of things. Definitely no mileage in this one.

S.Y: The more Trump continues to flex on international relations, the greater the threat.

Big thanks! Messages like this are better fuel than coffee (and don’t leave me jittery).

THIS IS THE END

That's it for #35

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