🗣️ Trump vs The Axis of Awkward

 NEWS YOU CAN USE

🔫 Parade Envy

As I write this, China is flexing and Trump is fuming.

Two months ago, his D.C. “big show” for the Army’s 250th was more flop than flex.
The problem? Not “menacing enough.” Smiling soldiers shuffling like a high-school band are not his vibe at all. (He prefers them masked and snatching people off the streets.)

Meanwhile, Xi rolls out the heavy metal: fresh nukes, hypersonic missiles, laser weapons, even robot ‘wolves’ (more menacing than dogs). The marching? Razor-sharp. The smiles? Zero. Authoritarian posing done right.

It’s “mine is bigger than yours” with tanks — but what does it actually tell us?

🫤 The Axis of Awkward

With Putin and Modi in town for the Populist Strongman Summit (actually the Shanghai Cooperation Organisation, but that’s a yawn), Trump cries “conspiracy” (because he wasn’t invited…).
Let’s call them XiPuMo™ (sound like a dodgy laxative?) or XiMoPu™? (knock-off Pokémon monster?) Anyway, are they really ganging up on the West?

Is it bromance or bust?

🇮🇳 Modi — meh: Trump’s 50% oil tariffs didn’t help, no more cheap Russki oil! But remember, India and China were killing each other in the Himalayas not long ago. They’ve got baggage.

🇨🇳 Xi — kinda: Loves to talk in vague terms like “international rule of law” (while constantly breaking it). But he wants a non-US-led world. Hosting the Hollywood Bad Guy Summit of 20+ world leaders (plus Iran, the ’Stans) lets him play nice guy with soft power — while flashing his hard toys.

🇷🇺 Putin — desperate: Ukraine is bleeding him dry: money, men, machines. With billions now flooding into the Ukraine war chest, he needs Xi and Modi’s wallets more than they need him. This bromance? He’s the clingy one.

🧐 SpeakEasy Take:

Authoritarian bromances look scary on parade day — but scratch the surface, and XiPuMo™ seems less “united front” and more “awkward group project”.

What do you think?

TALK TOOLBOX

📢 Conversation, Not Combat

Some people treat conversations like parades — marching out their achievements, louder and shinier than yours. You can’t always avoid them, but you can steer the moment into connection instead of competition.

😰 The Types:

• The Humble-Bragger: “Ugh, so tired from my third holiday this year…”

• The One-Upper: Whatever you did, they’ve done it bigger, faster, louder.

• The Name-Dropper: Somehow they’ve met everyone.

• The Spec-Reciter: Will happily list every detail of their new watch/car/phone

Once you spot it, open your toolkit:

Level 1 – The Gentle Pivot

• “That sounds cool. What was the most interesting part for you?” (Moves them from listing to reflecting.)

• “Wow, nice! What made you want to do that?” (Shifts focus from the achievement to the motivation.)

Level 2 – The Validating Bridge

• “That’s something to be proud of. Sounds like a lot of work.” (Acknowledges their pride without over-praising.)

• “You’re right, that is impressive. I was just thinking about something related…” (Agree, connect, then move it along.)

💡PRO TIP: Don’t join the arms race. Modesty and quiet confidence speak louder than any brag.

💬 FOLLOW-UP: “Nice one. Ever had it go wrong?” (Invites a self-deprecating story and takes the heat out of the brag.)

⛔ DON’T SAY: “Well, I’ve got one better…” (The verbal equivalent of ‘mine is bigger than yours’)

WORD WISE

💰 “Keeping Up with the Joneses”

This phrase comes from an American 1913 comic strip about a family obsessed with outdoing their neighbours, the never-seen Joneses. Cartoonist Arthur Momand based it on his own life — getting into debt just to look rich next to his fancy neighbours.

“Look at all the Teslas. Half this neighbourhood is just trying to keep up with the Joneses.”

Same game, different century — only now it’s Instagram feeds instead of front lawns.

💡 PRO TIP: Never aim this phrase at someone — it lands as an insult. (Unless you mean it that way, in which case… good luck.)

💬 FOLLOW-UP: “Do you think social media made it worse… or just more obvious?”

 THE CULTURE CODE

🐻 Hello Kitty, Meet Hello Black Bear

Wildlife in the UK is a pretty tame affair. Worst case? Wasps dive-bombing your pint in the summer.

Japan — a very different story. Forget Hello Kitty and Pikachu, think snakes (seen them), massive cockroaches (squashed them) and hornets from hell (run like hell).

But in certain areas, now add bears. Lots of them.

The Bear Facts:

• 55 attacks and 4 deaths since April (and hibernation is months away)

• 39 sightings near schools (scarier than your old PE teacher)

• June: a bear roams the runway at a regional airport (looking for lost luggage?)

• July: one shuts down a golf tournament (scratch that round…)

The solution? Guns! Japan loosened gun laws to let hunters shoot bears in emergencies. Kids get bear bells, schools run evacuation drills.
But with fewer hunters, overgrown forests and food running scarce in the blazing heat, the question is: will these towns stay bearly safe? 😉

💡 PRO TIP: Animal encounters make great conversation bait. Everyone’s got a shark story, a bear scare, or at least a wasp war. Drop one in for instant connection.

💬 FOLLOW-UP: “What’s the scariest animal you’ve seen in the wild?” (If blank stares, lead with your own story — even a cockroach counts, they are just wrong!)

⛔ DON’T SAY: “I love hunting!” Check your audience first. Hunting can be triggering…

FAMOUS WORDS

“It is not the strongest of the species that survives, but the one most adaptable to change”
(Charles Darwin, British Naturalist, 1809-1882)

🎬 Can you name the film?

🥶 The cold, a bear attack, Oscars…

⬇️ Answer at the end of this issue

BECAUSE THE ROBOTS ARE COMING

Your robot housemaid just got one step closer!
Helix (from bot company Figure) does something useful: folds laundry.
It only took 500 hours of training – still better than my kids.

Would you let it in your house?

💬 FOLLOW UP: What’s the one chore you’d happily outsource to a bot?

BITS ‘N BOBS

• 🫀 Smart Heart: AI stethoscope can find heart problems is seconds

• 💧 H₂OMG: The world’s tastiest water? (it’s not from a tap)

• ⚽️ Sports fan? Try The Upshot 👇 It won’t help you win Fantasy Football, but it will make you laugh.

ANSWER

🎬 The Revenant (2015)

Leonardo DiCaprio’s Oscar-winning survival epic, based on the true story of Hugh Glass. After a savage bear attack, Glass crawls 200 miles through the wilderness for revenge (not on the bear).

🍿 Cultural Impact: Finally got DiCaprio his Oscar after years of memes about him never winning.

🧠 Deep Dive: DiCaprio ate raw bison liver and slept inside animal carcasses for authenticity. Sounds like school holidays when I was a kid.

💬 YOUR TURN: What's your ultimate survival movie?

LAST WEEK

🗳️ What's your noodle of choice?

A) 🍜 Ramen - 0%
B) 🍲 Udon - 50%
C) 🍝 Spaghetti - 50%
D) 🍛 Other (confess in the comments)

Me too! 🤣 

THIS IS THE END

That's it for #34

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